By Yuyuko Takemiya and Tsubasa Yamaguchi. Released in Japan as “Anata wa Koko de, Iki ga dekiru no?” by Shincho Bunko nex. Released in North America by Seven Seas. Translated by Alexandra Owen-Burns.
I must admit, in general I tend not too look too closely at Seven Seas’ one-volume light novels that they turn out quite a bit of, mostly as they tend to all look like they’re going to be “bittersweet, possibly tragic love story”. But this one they hooked me in on, because it’s by the author of Toradora!, a series I quite enjoy. Having read it, I found it well-written and compelling, despite the fact that, as I expected, it is exactly the genre that I said above. But that’s not all it is. This falls into the category of one of those books where you’re trying to figure out the plot, and you’re also trying to figure out if the characters are telling us the truth. And oh yes, it’s a time loop story, so we also have to pay attention to which timeline we might be in right now. It’s a bit of a mess. Kind of like our heroine.
We meet our heroine, Rara, dying on the side of the road after a fatal motorcycle accident. She’s able to give us an awful lot of first-person narration, despite an awful lot of grotesque imagery. (Folks bothered by motor vehicle accidents and their aftermath may want to skip this book). Oddly, we also see her sitting at a television, watching as an alien come to Earth announces that the world is going to end soon… and the alien is then killed. The same alien shows up in front of the dying Rara and explains that this world is created by her, and that she is the only one who can save it. She then finds herself back in time, at the point where she meets her lover. The alien is trying to get her to avoid this guy, or break up with him, or otherwise do something different so that she avoids dying in the accident. She, however, keeps doing the exact same thing. After all, she loves him.
So yeah, a little weird. Rara can be a bit dislikable at the start of the book, when she’s a furious teen ranting at (and seeking the approval of) her overly logical and punctilious mother. And as the book went on, I guessed one of the mysteries fairly quickly. But figuring things out is not really the reason to read this. This is a book about the joys of being in love, and that sometimes, when you’re deeply in love, you care about your partner a lot more than yourself. The title comes from Rara’s constant question to Kengo, “can you breathe? Are you breathing?”, which is connected to the fatal accident but also makes a very good metaphor for the stress of everyday life, and how everything can just be far too much. You can’t move forward or accept things. You stop breathing. In the end, Rara is able to get the happy ending she wants, but to do that, she has to accept that this happy ending is not going to involve her. And that’s fine. The one she loves is happy.
This was a bit depressing, out of necessity, but also had some very evocative imagery. I’m glad I read it.
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